Listen
The audio file for “Everything I Just Told You Was A Lie” is currently unavailable
The primary background of “Everything I Just Told You Was A Lie” is the Catholic ritual of Confession. During my misspent youth, I put in a great deal of time being absolved of my numerous sins within the dark paneled confines of the confessional closet, ratting myself out to a parish priest, receiving my penance of ten Hail Marys and ten Our Fathers, vowing to sin no more and going back out into the world to do the same old shit all over again.
As I grew older and more worldly, it began to dawn on me how absurd this process was. Say, for example, I had had sex with my girlfriend’s sister . . . not that I had sex with my my girlfriends sister . . . OK . . . so, I had sex with my girlfriend’s sister, but it was just once and it wasn’t very good sex!
Where was I? Oh yeah . . . I was struck by the absurdity of asking a relative stranger to forgive my transgressions against another individual, rather than seeking forgiveness from the individual directly. It seemed like a huge cop out. On the plus side, if my girlfriend found out that I’d been fucking her sister, she would have killed me.
Fast forward to present times – I’m sitting at the piano and I am suddenly overcome by the need to confess to a certain interested party, that I might have been less than forthcoming in my dealings with said party over the course of our relationship and that I wanted to make amends, the best way I knew how . . .
Needless to say, this musical confession wasn’t received very well. The notion that music hath charms to soothe the savage breast is a cock and bull story. A person would be better served wearing a Kevlar jump suit when seeking one-on-one absolution from personal transgression. Better yet . . . say ten Hail Marys, ten Our Fathers and vow to sin no more!
Lyrics
Everything I just told you was a lie
Honey, I cross my heart and hope to die
I hurt you and though it grieves me
Only a fool would believe me
Everything I just told you was a lie
Baby, you can’t believe a thing I say
Baby, it’s just my dirty, cheatin way
If there’s one thing you should know about me
It’s that you’re better off darlin without me
Baby, you can’t believe a word I say
I know a whole lot of lovely words
And I’m not afraid to use them
I can look you in the eye and shamelessly
Make you pretty promises
And know I will never keep them
It’s a common practice of my gender
To con you into sweet surrender
Sugar pie you can take that to the bank
I’ve a reputation for being less than frank
Something inside of me’s busted
Guys like me, we can’t be trusted
Sugar pie you can take that to the bank
I know a whole lot of lovely words
And I’m not afraid to use them
I can look you in the eye and shamelessly
Make you pretty promises
And know that I won’t keep them
It’s a common practice of my gender
To con you into sweet surrender
Everything I just told you was a lie
Baby, I can’t begin to tell you why
Honestly I can’t help it
I’m just a limitless source of horse shit
Everything I just told you was a lie